When it was first realized that my child is neurodiverse, the world suddenly seemed heavier. Whispers, stares, and the invisible wall of social stigma in our society led to a gradual retreat into a cocoon. Social gatherings, festivals, and even casual circles were slowly avoided. Initially, it was thought that by stepping back, both my child and I would be protected from judgment. But deep inside, one question kept returning: was justice truly being served by this silence?
The children are often seen as reflections of their parents, irrespective of their neurological traits. The emotions carried by parents—pride or shame, confidence or hesitation—are deeply absorbed by children. If we parents hold on to shame, isolation, and lack of confidence, children will unknowingly mirror those same emotions. Instead of witnessing pride in their uniqueness, they will see doubt, apology, or avoidance. This can lead to:
- A mirror of self-doubt – When parents choose withdrawal, the child will grow to feel the same way about their differences.
- A sense of isolation – By cutting ties with society, an unspoken message is passed from parents to their children, conveying that they do not belong.
- Missed opportunities – Access to therapies, peer groups, and inclusive spaces often flows through social connections. By stepping back, a child’s growth will quietly be limited.
Yet, the other side of the coin offers hope: when confidence is chosen, a message of strength is passed on. Facing society’s judgments with dignity teaches the child that neurodiversity is not something to hide—it is something to embrace. A parent’s courage becomes their safe ground. A parent’s voice becomes their shield. A parent’s openness becomes their pride.
Parenting a neurodiverse child is a journey defined not by perfection, but by presence. While society’s whispers can be loud, a child’s gaze is fixed most intently on their parents. They are watching to see if we parents will stand with them or retreat into the background. When we parents choose to show up—unapologetically and proudly—we are doing more than just being there. Then we can give our child the most valuable lesson of all: that their uniqueness is a source of strength, not a mark of shame. In this unwavering presence, children find the courage to soar beyond stigma, equipped with a deep-seated belief in their own worth, gifted to them by the very people who matter most.
So the question is no longer, “Is justice being done by stepping away?” It becomes: “How can a parent walk proudly beside their child so that the child knows they belong?”
