A Shift from “Fixing” to “Empowering”

In Indian households, parenting is often a collective effort — shaped by parents, grandparents, relatives, and even neighbors who don’t hesitate to offer advice. When a child is neurodiverse — living with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other differences in brain functioning — this advice often takes the form of “fixing.”

The advices often takes the form of “fixing”….

”Why doesn’t he talk like other kids?”
“Don’t let him play so much, make him study“
“Check with doctors, she will be cured”

This pressure reflects a deep-rooted belief that children must be made to “fit in.” But do you really think these neurodiverse children need fixing ?? Or, they need understanding, acceptance, and empowerment to thrive as their authentic selves.

The “Fixing” Trap

In India, academic achievement and social conformity are highly valued. As a result:

• Parents are pushed into therapy after therapy, hoping their child will “become normal.”
• Schools often insist on rote learning, leaving little room for different learning styles.
• Families may hide a child’s diagnosis for fear of stigma, leading to more isolation.

This culture of fixing can cause children to feel inadequate and parents to feel exhausted, as though they’re always running a race that cannot be won.

Empowering Strategy

Moving from a “fixing” mindset to one of empowerment for neurodivergent children is a profound shift that requires a fundamental change in perspective. This change isn’t easy, as it goes against deeply ingrained cultural and social norms. However, many parents are already making this shift, and their experiences offer valuable insights.

Let’s shift our mindset together here from “Fixing” to “Empowerment”. Instead of asking, “When will my child become normal?”, It is high time to reframe the question to, “How can I help my child thrive as they are?” Let us utilize this social networking site for:

• Understanding Neurodiversity: Educate ourselves on what neurodiversity truly means—that it’s a natural variation of the human brain, not a defect. This helps us see our child’s unique traits not as problems, but as a different way of experiencing the world.
• Celebrating Strengths: Shift focus from challenges to strengths. A child who struggles with social cues might have a unique ability to hyperfocus on a task, or a child who struggles with rote learning might be an incredibly creative and visual thinker. We can identify and nurture these strengths, helping the child build self-esteem.
• Letting Go of Societal Expectations: This is the hardest part, as it means confronting societal judgment and the fear of “what will people say?” Once we learn to prioritize our child’s well-being over the opinions of extended family or community members, it will change the game.
• Early and Informed Intervention: While “fixing” is not the goal, early and professional intervention is vital. This means seeking out neurodiversity-affirming therapists and special educators who use a strengths-based approach. Let us focus on providing the child with tools and strategies to navigate a world, rather than trying to change who they are.
• Peering with Other Parents: Connecting with other parents on a similar journey can be a game-changer. Let us share experiences, exchange practical tips, and receive emotional validation on this social networking site.